Let me know where my confidence is, please

Hello Blog :) It's been so long since the last time I updated this blog. I feel sorry about that, I should have taken care about this blog more and more. Suddenly it came up to my mind, what will I do after this year ends.

I mean like- seriously- there must be a new stage for me, I really need to collect all the pieces of me which have been separated after a long time ._.  I've been thinking or probably over-thinking about these stuffs recently, but still cant get the way out.

Currently, I'm a part of IME (Ikatan Mahasiswa Elektro) as one of the staff from Research and Development (R&D) Division. How do I feel? It feels great actually, I like this kind of job, get to know other people in Electrical Engineering Department -since I need to give out a lot accreditation forms evenly-, we think over the problems inside the department and trying to figure out the solutions as well. It makes me think a way much more analytical.  In R&D Division itself, I'm mandated as the Division Secretary. Well secretarial world seems so related to me, I was also the General Secretary during high school in Community Council. I did really enjoy the job during high school, it felt good to be related with stuffs like letter, report, inventory, and etc. Then when I got selected randomly to be the Division Secretary, I felt relieved, at least that's a thing I've learned for years.

I also applied to be the staff for Secretarial Division in BEM FT UI, fortunately I was accepted, and still manage the job until now. I'd love to know a lot people all around Faculty of Engineering. And of course, BEM FT UI kindly gives me this opportunity, so I try my best here and there and everywhere wkwkwk. Thank God, probably I'm such a multitasker hehehe. 

So what's the matter? The matter is.... I don't get any clues where to go after this :( I'm afraid of being rejected, or perhaps failure ._.

As you guys know, I've lost my confidence since a long time ago ._. I dont know whether people are kindly enough to accept me around the field. Or perhaps all of these stuffs are just fake (?)

NEED MY CONFIDENCE BACK!!!

:(:(:(

p.s. : I just figured out where to go next year after long coversations with my friends :) Hope this will come out with goods hehehe

Quirky Girl with Nano-nano

Hari ini, aku ada banyak banget tugas kuliah.

Banyak, lebih dari satu.

Pusing nggak? Sedih nggak? Biasa aja sih. Malah seneng.

Udah semester 2 di UI, nggak nyangka udah jadi mahasiswa aja. Udah punya jakun yang ada makara biru tua di bagian kiri jakun. Udah pernah nyanyi di Balairung buat wisudawan. Udah pernah ikut arak-arakan Pelepasan Sarjana Baru.

Terharu ngeliat senior yang udah pada lulus. Seneng, pasti. Aku sama temenku, suka berandai-andai, kalau kita lulus nanti, kita gimana ya? Semoga aja semua orang yang aku sayangi bisa ngeliat aku wisuda, aamiin.

Euphorianya arak-arakan. Kerasa, banget. Meskipun nggak begitu banyak interaksi sama senior, karena emang aku pemalu (?). Apa sih yang bikin aku malu? Banyak. Tapi seharusnya itu nggak jadi alasan buat aku jadi malu. Terlalu sibuk liat ke atas sih.

Menjadi bagian dari BEM FT UI 2014 dan IME FT UI 2014. Siapa yang ngira aku jadi anak Teknik. Penggemar Hello Kitty, jadi bagian dari Teknik. Nggak ada salahnya sih, memang. Tapi, lucu.

Pengalaman Raker BEM di Puncak, rabid IME di Sekre IME. Ketemu senior-senior baru di Teknik. Ketemu temen-temen baru di Teknik. Suci udah selesai belajar menjadi orang yang ikhlas-kah? Semangat baru.

Kantek, Mustek, Tamtek, Musdep, Dep, Selasar, Gazeb, Ruang BEM, Sekre, Pusgiwa, Haltek, Bola Disko, Rumbel. Istilah-istilah baru yang aku dapetin di Teknik. Asing ya. Pertama kali menginjakkan kaki di Teknik juga semuanya terasa asing. Senior-Teman, terlihat sama. Sampe akhirnya aku bisa selangkah lebih dekat sama temen-temen 2013, proses ini, terus berjalan sampe sekarang.

Kalau sama senior, serba bingung. Aku bingung, kita semua bingung. Bagaimana caranya yang baik? Still, aku berusaha untuk itu.

Ngeliat senior yang udah umur 20-an tuh, asing. Keliatan dewasa, cantik, ganteng, pintar. Sering kepikir, kapan aku sampe ke fase itu. Sabar deh.

Waktu MADK, senior teriak-teriak. Kedengeran sih. Still, bingung. TW TW sama senior. Ada banyak wawasan yang aku dapetin. Ternyata aku emang masih awam. Bahkan untuk masalah kehidupan. Kagum, sama mahasiswa. Pola pikir, tindakan, dan keputusan. Itu sih di pertengahan. Udah tahun tua, sibuk mikirin skripsi. 

Pengalaman ikut IKM Quiz, Kantek Show. Semuanya membirukan hati. Senang.

Orang-orang yang nggak pernah aku bayangin sebelumnya. Hal-hal yang nggak pernah aku pikirin sebelumnya. Dunia kampus, nano-nano.